I realize that, by adding yet another installment of parking lot observations, I’m bordering on obsession, but I can’t help it. Maybe people are just at their best (or worst) in the parking lot. Or maybe I tend to watch people a little more closely because of parking lot paranoia. In any case, I consider it my sworn duty to alert my loyal readers to the dangers and possiblities that await in that most crucial of places, the parking lot.

Tonight I feel the necessity to discuss the nuances of the blinker claim. For those of you not familiar, this is a standard move for when the parking lot is full and spaces are nearly priceless. If you’re fortunate enough to find someone getting into their car, you turn your blinker on, thus laying claim to the spot. Though I have never personally seen it, I’m pretty sure that if someone ignores the blinker claim, you are legally justified to spit on their windshield. Let me caution you if you are not used to the blinker claim, however, to help you avoid embarrassing novice mistakes. For example, make sure that you indicate which spot you are claiming by using the correct blinker. It sounds simple, I know, but in the heat of the moment, such details are easily forgotten. Also, and this one is crucial, DO NOT USE YOUR BLINKER TO CLAIM A SPOT IF YOU ARE THE ONLY CAR IN THE PARKING LOT LOOKING FOR A SPOT. Need I say more?

I would also like to throw in a word of caution to my fellow parking-lot sharks: watch out for people like me. And when I say “people like me” I mean people who forget where they park. There are few things as frustrating as following a potential victim fellow driver in order to take the spot they are about to vacate, only to have them remember that their car is on the other side of the parking lot. These individuals may be identified by glassy eyes, aimless shuffle, and slurred speech. They may also be drunk. Or elderly. Or me. That is all.

So I was helping a friend of mine find some pages on whaling for a school assignment. As I Googled such pointed terms as “Whaling for Dummies” and “How to Whale” I was linked to some incredibly helpful pages. I thought I’d share them with you, my loyal readers.

First we have “The Infamous Exploding Whale” page. For those of you unfamiliar with the topic, apparently, the Oregon State Highway Division used 1/2 a ton of dynamite for “whale-removal purposes.” And yes, the site has video. Enjoy.

On a slightly less-related note, I also came across “Little-Known Literary Facts” by David Lubar, in which he claims that the working title for Moby Dick was actually Whaling for Dummies. Other interesting tidbits include the true origins of Finnegan’s Wake and why Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy both wrote such freakin’ long books.

Today I began my vacation to Maryland, and thus far it’s been a pretty eventful trip. I mean, I saw some lady totally wipe out on the stairs, I was able to see a SR-71 up close, and I saw pretty much the most obvious sign I have ever had the privilege of personally witnessing. We flew into Dulles International Airport just outside of DC, and after the several-hour flight, I paid a visit to the gentlemen’s room to freshen up. After washing my hands, I turned to evaluate what given means had been provided for me to dry my dampened digits. Much to my dismay, I saw the dreaded bank of electric air dryers. Typically, this means that I just dry my hands on my jeans and have done with it. However, in what appears now to be a flash of inspiration motivated me to give the air dryers a chance. As I went to turn the thing on, a notice on the dryer caught my eye:”Do not operate with wet hands. Risk of electrical shock.” Are they serious? I mean, why install a bank of dryers if you can only use them when your hands are dry? Maybe I’m missing the point here, but I don’t think so. Needless to say, I saw an old-fashioned paper-towel dispenser (if it ain’t broke…) and I beat a hasty retreat after contributing in my own way to rainforest destruction.

In retrospect, I’m a little concerned about flying back to SLC as a result of this experience. Either I need to be concerned about a management that feels that such a sign is necessary, or I need to be worried about my fellow passengers who necessitate such a sign. In any case, the intruding reminders of the reality of the presence of idiots around me has once again made my world feel a little less safe.

So I picked up the Incredibles Soundtrack this evening. First of all, it’s not quite as good as I thought it would be. Fortunately there are a couple of songs that make the album worth the money (Off To Work and Life’s Incredible Again, most notably). But that’s beside the point. Over the past few months I have become increasingly more concerned about the music industry’s apparent lack of concern for their customers. First there was the Sony/BMG rootkit debacle, where Sony/BMG put malicious hidden software on a Van Zant (who?) CD, along with 19 other CDs. Add in the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA)’s dogged determination to threaten and sue anyone who might be infringing on their intellectual property (including those who really aren’t, like LyricFind.com. Turns out that the RIAA was forced to back off and issue a formal apology, but not before the site was shut down.) and you have what seems to me to be a rather anti-consumer attitude.

This brings me to my point. Today I realized that none of this should have been a surprise. Anybody who has ever purchased a CD will be able to relate. Now, I have a feeling that the guys who design retail CD packaging are the designers of the Great Wall of China reencarnate. Is there any retailing packaging that is more difficult to get off of the product? First you have that outer cellophane wrap, which seems to be impervious to any method employed to tear, slit, or unfold it from the CD case. Then, if/when you get that off, you;re confronted with the additional challenge of pulling that little adhesive strip off of the top of the case. Here, I think the designers got a new idea. Unlike the outer packaging, the adhesive strip disintegrates with very little effort. Meaning that you end up pulling off a million little pieces of sticker instead of being able to pull it off in one piece. Very clever. You would think that a multibillion dollar industry would be able to figure out a slightly more consumer-friendly approach. For example, how about some of those little red pully tabs like they put on chewing gum packs? I mean, are you going to let Wrigley’s beat you out like that? Perhaps the motivation is to create such a sense of desperation in the attempt to unwrap the CD that when/if you finally get it open, you appreciate the music that much more. Who can say for sure? What I can say is this: that next time I want to buy an album, I’m looking on iTunes first.

Not that I’m much of a drinker, but I do appreciate a REALLY BIG AD for beer every now and then. Check it out. (But only if you’re over 18.) It’s really big.

Detroit is finally starting to redeem itself after creating so many automotive abominations. The latest from Dodge is definitely encouraging. I’m a really big fan of the true “retro” look, and the degree to which the designers stay true to the original design cues of the 1970 Challenger. Drop a new Hemi in there, and I’m sold, natch. Buzz is that this could see production by 2009.

For a more in-depth look at the Challenger Concept, check out this deeply informative article on Allpar.com:
2007 Dodge Challenger

This post has been a long time coming. I’ve been pondering the format for my blog and I’ve decided to go with more of a relevant, personal approach. Rather than just posting rants or humorous observations, I’ll also try to write things of meaning, give updates on my life, and all that jazz. Also, I’d like to write some of the things I’m learning about internet marketing on my site as well. I’m hoping that at some point I’ll know enough about something to be considered an authority, but until then, it’s my ramblings…